Learn to enjoy the ride.
This is an adaptation of a script for a one hour long seminar presented at what’s now the Lone Star College Cy-Fair branch, who wanted someone to speak about Toastmasters and public speaking. Yes, it’s another article about speaking basics, but I thought it might be worthwhile to share here.
How many of you have ever been on a roller coaster? There’s always that moment that can give you knots no matter how many times you ride one – the big climb. It’s always in the first 10 seconds out of the station that it starts. Chunka-chunka-chunka-chunka – and your cart is pulled up the hill. You look around as the ground below gets further and further away. You look ahead at the loops and turns and twists ahead and you start thinking, “This thing is going to put me through THAT?”
I mention this because no matter how many times you ride, I still get the same sensations. The sinking feeling in my gut. The cold hands. The part of the brain saying “this is bad, this is bad, this is bad”. And yet, there’s the part of me that’s saying, “Oh yeah! This is going to be AWESOME!”
About two years ago, I had a relatively similar experience when I joined Toastmasters and was about to give my first speech. Toastmasters was recommended to me by a friend who suggested it to me after I performed poorly at an interview. I had the sinking feeling. Cold hands. And yes, the “this is bad, this is bad, this is bad…” thoughts. But after I had given my first speech, I realized something: I had fun! Even better, I wanted to do it again!
Since that time, I’ve given over forty speeches, and each time, I’ve tried to take something away from the experience. Some of this experience and “how to” on getting through your fears I’d like to share today with you. It’s my hope that you’ll be able to walk out of here at the end of our session with renewed confidence and an interest in learning more.
For many people, the last time they ever had a formal speech was back in high school or college, and usually you might get only two or three speeches then. Not always the best way to learn! However, author and speaker Tony Jeary likes to say that “Life is a Series of Presentations”. Most of our interactions aren’t going to be seminars, lectures, and so on; they’re going to be one on one, or one on few interactions. Maybe you want to persuade your spouse, friend, or someone to take a trip with you, or even just to go to a lunch spot you like. Let’s look at the flip side of this – what if we don’t have good communication skills? Who would rather be effective communicators? Do you think it would be worth it to get over our fears and doubts to do so?
At some point, we’ll be strapped in to the coaster whether we like it or not, and we’ll go through all those symptoms. What is that nasty bug in our gut though, anyway?
Would it help to know that you’re not alone? That almost everyone who’s spoken in front of a group has had it? Even leaders of the free world get it! Did you know that JFK himself had to hold onto a lectern to calm himself during his speeches?
I’ve found through working with others and myself that the fear of speaking is multi-faceted. Everyone has their own different roller coaster to surmount. Some people shake at the knees at the sight of the big drop, some people lose it just looking at loops, others are scared of the speed. Some of the common fears are:
Perfectionism: Fear of making mistakes. This was a big one for me and lingers still. I would expect myself to memorize a speech word for word and if I messed up, I would freeze up. Then I’d tell myself how dumb I was during the pause! It helps to remember that going only by the script is not the point of extemporaneous speaking; the script is a guide, not scripture.
Fear of being made fun of: In short: You suck, and your presentation sucks. Or at least, you think your audience is thinking that. Let me assure you that this is almost always never the case. After all, if all of you hated me and wanted me to fail, why even come here? View your presentations as opportunities for both you and your audience to learn and grow, and you will both benefit.
Fear of incompetence: Scared that you’re doing it all so horribly wrong. This is where doing a little homework to see for yourself what works and doesn’t work is highly instructional.
Fear of forgetting the speech: The fear of ‘blanking out’ and not knowing what to say. It takes practice and confidence to trust yourself. Until then, don’t be afraid to use notes. What’s worse: a speaker that’s too proud to use note cards and slights his audience, or one that has to look at note cards once in a while and as a result engages his audience that much more?
That’s a pretty nasty array of insecurities, isn’t it? Sun Tsu said “Know thyself, know the enemy. A thousand battles, a thousand victories.” Now we’re a step or two closer to knowing ourselves. While there will usually be some residual nervousness, there is hope. But how do we move past these fears? We can use tools I call the four Ps: Plan, Prepare, Present, and Post-Mortem.
Let’s start with planning (and I’ll explain the difference between this and preparation later). Consider this scene: you’re an expert on cars, and your friends come to you a lot before they make a purchase, because they want to know what’s right for them. Would you tell a friend with $50K and who wants a luxury sedan to buy the same vehicle that you recommended a friend with $20K and who wanted an SUV to get? Not very likely. And so it goes for your audiences. Finding out their ages, genders, incomes, and what they’re expecting out of your presentation is crucial. Figuring out what you want them to know, feel, and do after your presentation is also key. This is where you’ll start to formulate your talk. Planning also involves figuring out the time and date of your presentation, as well as location. These can factor into your talk in huge ways; for example: if you’re doing an after-dinner speech, there are special considerations to take into account (this is not the time to try an information-laden talk, for one!). Figuring out how much time you have is also crucial, especially if you’re going to appear with other speakers.
With your planning done, you should have an idea of the audience, its expectations, and what message you have for them. You also know where and when the presentation will be, and how long you have to deliver it. Now it’s time to get down to work and prepare. If you’re a novice (or even if you aren’t), this is what will cut your nervousness down the most. Go ahead and groan now – there’s a price of admission to ride this roller coaster. The good news is that I can show you how to prepare efficiently.
The first thing I like to do is write out some bullet points of what I’d like to talk about by hand. You can do this on a pad, on a whiteboard, in a word processor – whatever you like to use to quickly capture ideas. The things I want to capture here are my main ideas, what I want to do with the speech, and any other objectives I might have. For example, for this presentation, I noted I wanted a roller coaster theme because it’s a classic example of fear and fun. I noted that my audience was likely looking to get their first time or first time in a long time experience with speaking, and I wanted to communicate that it was easy to overcome these fears.
Don’t forget to keep tabs on your plan items mentioned above. Start thinking about props, equipment (such as projectors, laser pointers, etc.) you might need. If you’re going to be introduced at your presentation, write up an introduction – your host will appreciate it, and you’ll be able to establish your name and credibility before you even get up to speak.
The next stage is to collect these points and write out your presentation. This has a number of advantages. First, it lets you organize and focus your thinking. Second, by doing this in a word processor, you can do a word count and get a rough estimate of how long my presentation is. For me, 700 words turns into a five to seven minute speech. This is usually three double spaced pages.
Along with writing out the script, generate two pages of bullet point notes. I make these two pages have a very large font size, so I can look down at them if I ever need to know where I’m going with a glance. After you’re done writing out your speech and making the bullet points, that’s when you go to practice. Start by reciting from your full script, and when you feel comfortable, switch to your bullet point sheets and run through it again.
Before I go on, the point of practicing is not necessarily to memorize what I wrote, but more to be able to feel comfortable with the bullet points. Often I’ll embellish while I’m delivering, or find little spots I should fine tune or edit out, and that’s fine. The script is a starting point, not scripture. When you’re riding the coaster, you might feel like throwing your hands up, you might not. The point is to enjoy the ride!
There’s also the question of “how much should I practice?” The answer is going to vary. You might need two hours, you might need two days, you might need two weeks. At least twice a day for two weeks should be enough for most any speech.
One point of preparation that is a must do to control nerves: Go up on the stage ahead of time if at all possible, and stand there until you feel comfortable. Look out at the seats and imagine them filled with people who are excited about hearing your message. Give your speech a last run through, or at least practice the opening and closing.
The next P is Presentation. That’s just giving the actual talk. This is the time to pull out all the stops and entertain, encourage, educate, and engage your audience.
Finally, the last P: Post-Mortem. Did I mention you should get your talk video recorded? Tripods and digital cameras that can record movies are so cheap compared to the cameras of old, so there’s no excuse for not getting your talk recorded so you can see yourself giving your presentation and making note of what you liked and what you didn’t like.
That’s the four Ps. You may have noticed that they apply to more ‘structured’ speaking, which for many people is on the decline. It might happen at a business meeting or a PTA meeting, or some other similar event. However, many of our speaking engagements are impromptu, and by definition resist preparation. How can we deal with this form of communication effectively?
Here’s a secret though; you already know how to do it. Have you ever had a conversation with a friend that just went really, really well? You didn’t know where it would go, but you both volleyed each other nicely. Before you knew it, just like your average roller coaster ride, it was over! Most often, it seems like swapping stories with friends are the easiest talks we have. Storytelling is a very powerful presentation method. It’s easy to put a bunch of numbers in and say “our figures were up 22% versus last quarter”, but does this tell us much? Does it tell us who put in extra hours, or what we did to achieve those gains? Does it make us care? Probably not!
Here’s a template for successful impromptu speaking, from Diana Booher, called the SEER method. The first S stands for “State your response”. This is the “executive summary” of your response, the ‘yes, no, or I don’t know’. If you’re asked, “What flavor of ice cream is your favorite?” your response could be stated as “Chocolate is alright, but I prefer the complex taste of mint chocolate chip.” Your statement should be one to two sentences. Make it known where you stand. Next, “elaborate”. Give some further explanation why you responded the way you did. For example, “the pleasant taste of mint is refreshing, and chocolate mixed in provides a satisfying complement.” The next E is “give an Example”. Simply give some real world evidence, which is essentially a short story, to back up your claim. To continue the example: “There are few things as delicious as a cone of mint chocolate chip on a hot day.” Finally, the R in the formula is “Restate”, where you retell your main point to drive it home again. To complete our example: “And that’s why I think mint chocolate chip is a superior flavor of ice cream.”
To wrap all of this up then, you now know that the roller coaster of public speaking is something that can be enjoyed. You know some of your fears, and why they may not be as big as you thought. You learned a way to handle a planned presentation with the four Ps, and a way to handle impromptu speaking with the SEER method. Now, all you need is some experience, and you too can ride that coaster with confidence, and most of all, have fun doing it!
