How you talk to your audience matters.
Some time ago, I heard a humorous speech for a contest entitled “What’s Up With Up?” In it, he iterated a thousand uses of the word “up” (actual count may be slightly off). Most of these uses involved various prepositions (as my 6th grade grammar teacher taught us, prepositions are “anywhere a cat can go”) attached to the word. It was really good material, and served to illustrate how complex and rich our language is. For someone who grew up lugging around the original Speak & Read and Speak & Spell, this was great.
One morning not too long ago, I woke up, and although that particular speech wasn’t on my mind, I started thinking about the different prepositions that we can be attached to the word “talking”. It was one of those idea floods that hit right at the point between sleeping and waking up. I’ve heard or read various authors talk about this subject, so the material isn’t entirely mine. I want to expand on their words, based on my experience.
The first preposition? Talking “down to”. You can usually pick out when it happens. “It should be *obvious* to *anyone* that…” is a classic example, often used by frustrated people trying to explain a technical issue to laypeople (for the fourth time, usually).
A lot of speech coaches are going to say “never, ever, EVER talk down to your audience”. I disagree — there’s at least one incident I can think of where such a tactic could work: being completely facetious about something to elicit a humorous response. For example, maybe you’re taking the role a particularly fastidious relative, and to express that in your speech you use something like: “Now, now, *everyone* with even a third grade education knows that we don’t put the shaving cream back on the right side of the faucet when we’re done with it.” There may be other times and contexts where could work, but everyone knows that you should avoid it. “talking down to”
The next one is talking “at” an audience. To the speaker with the “talking at” mentality, the audience is only there to receive information, and it’s their own fault if they either don’t understand, or get turned off by the uninspired delivery. I’m sure all of you could think of your own incidences of this, or have at least heard stories of them. What comes to mind for me is images of old time politicians. Some of you will probably think of an uninspired teacher or two, droning on and on in lecture. I’m sure others will think of the latest round of mind-numbing PowerPoint slides you had to endure. “Talking at” styles used to work, but they have fallen largely by the wayside over the years.
Is “talking at” ever useful? Not often. You could deliberately use it to show your distaste for a particular subject in a rather passive-aggressive way, but past that, not much comes to mind.
What about talking “to” an audience? Sounds a little better than “talking at”, doesn’t it? If you’re doing this, you’re doing okay. At this level, you at least have some concern for how the audience is receiving your material, and at least some interest in the material as well. If you want to take your speaking to a higher echelon though, there’s one more level you’ll need to get to.
What’s this level then? Talking “with” an audience. To beginners, it sounds odd that you’d be engaged in conversation when presenting, doesn’t it? It takes time and effort, but it can happen. Your audience doesn’t have to respond with words. Look at their posture as you speak. Just like your own body language, this can speak volumes. Are they watching you with riveted eyes, or are they watching the clock?
When you reach this level, fantastic things happen. The audience is engaged with the speaker; they’re beyond merely attentive. Their eyes light up with new possibilities and new hopes as they obtain real value from the speaker. The speaker is rewarded with the knowledge that their material is being received and thought about. This doesn’t even have to be positive, per se; maybe someone thinks differently about the subject, but the difference is expressed such that the speaker and the audience find an even better solution. If you work with an enthusiastic, creative group (hello fellow officers!) you know what this feels like.
Zig Ziglar is a great example: he likes to tell people that only about 1/3rd of all people are truly spectacular. Then he tells people to look to their left, then to their right. Afterward, he informs them that those people probably aren’t too great as far as you know, and you’re the winner. Other speakers only need to stir emotion based on commonly shared values; JFK’s “Ask Not” speech is a powerful reminder of this.
I don’t want to get into too much about how to create this connection quite yet; that should be an article on its own. Know that sometimes it just won’t happen; maybe the audience is tired, hungry, or is engaged with fiddling with papers and the like. Sometimes there isn’t enough time within the confines of our typical five to seven minute limits. Keep at it though; being able to create this connection with your audience is an important skill to develop, but takes time and effort. The payoff is a deep sense of satisfaction and more effective speaking.
There are other uses of prepositions smashed together with “talking” that I could mention, but these are some of the main ones. Hopefully I’ve stimulated your thinking a little (and you’re not too angry at me for not going into detail about how to create that “talking with” bond yet). Next month I’ll cover some ideas for getting that connection going. Until then, keep talking!
