Or, how I stopped being afraid of having all those eyes glued on me.
This was my first Better Speaker Series speech for earning my Toastmasters Advanced Communicator Silver award. It is also featured at the SPOTLIGHT network. I originally delivered this speech on the 12th of March 2007.
As a little background, the Better Speaker Series is a special set of manuals designed for advanced Toastmasters to teach skills such as body language, organizing your speech, and more. They are generally scripted out for the speaker and most people simply read them aloud. Since I’m much too good for that, I decided to write my own take on the issue of dealing with fear and speaking.
For a moment, I want you to envision what it’s like being next in line for a roller coaster ride. The previous riders get out, most of them looking elated it’s all over and many wear smiles on their faces. If this is your first time, that now empty cart looks like an abyss unto itself. Nevertheless, you step in, sit down, and strap in. Soon enough, the attendant gives the go-ahead, and you begin to roll out to the big climb.
The belt under the cars latches on, and begins pulling you up the hill. Ca-chuh, ca-chuh, ca-chuh…the belt pulls you onward and upward. There’s no going back now. You look over the sides of your car as you are pulled higher and higher over the landscape and you get a glimpse of all the turns and twists in store for you. You see the people below, and maybe you think, “Are any of them crazy enough to do what I’m doing?”
And then, you see it. The big drop. All this time you’ve been building up a massive store of potential energy, and now it’s time to convert it into kinetic energy. If you’re a first time rider, you might be afraid. You might be excited. You might be both of these things at the same time and more.
Giving a speech can involve a lot of those same feelings. As Toastmasters, we step into the cars when we sign up to do a speech (or have someone volunteer us). You can feel the tension building in the big climb when you are about to be called. At the podium or lectern, you get to see all the people below, and perhaps a bit of the ride ahead. Finally, when you open your mouth, the big drop begins. All along the way, there can be nervousness and excitement, just like the roller coaster ride. Unlike the roller coaster ride though, our speeches and presentations may leave lasting effects. This may involve giving training sessions to co-workers, talking with our boss about a raise, or many other communication moments that you may face.
What I want to do here is tell you how you can reduce that nervousness and fear you feel when giving a speech or other presentation. We’ve all heard the statistics saying that public speaking is rated the number one or two fear and that people would rather die than give a speech. (In fact, there’s a book titled I’d Rather Die Than Give a Speech by Michael Klepper) What those statistics don’t say is that when people choose to duck out of talking to others, they forfeit their opportunity to communicate their ideas, their vision, and their passions. That being said, let’s look at how to overcome this fear.
The number one tip I’ve gotten from books, websites, audio programs, and other Toastmasters is not going to be glamorous or some ancient secret. It is preparation, preparation, and more preparation. It involves writing out your speech, tweaking that draft endlessly, preparing introductions, preparing props, rehearsing the speech, and so much more. There’s a quote from General Patton that goes, “The more sweat in training, the less blood on the battlefield.”
I’m sure you all know that you need to practice your speech. I’m also sure you know all about the mantra of “stage time, stage time, stage time!” Yes, your fear will start to be more manageable as you speak more and gain experience, but this doesn’t help people working on that first speech! I don’t want to elaborate on these aspects too much, because we all know them and have had them pounded into our heads. We don’t always have the luxury of preparation however. How do we control fear then?
There are quite a few things I’ve learned when it comes to dealing with fear. First, it will not go away just because you want it to. It doesn’t go away if others want it to. In fact, you shouldn’t try to make it go away. Admit to yourself and accept deeply that, yes, you are afraid, and that, for a while, that’s okay. Sit with the feeling a moment. Usually, fear is just like a three year old that wants a moment of your time.
If you do this for a while, you’ll probably start to see that your fear is rooted in certain areas. These can include:
- Criticism of others. If your inner monologue includes thoughts of“People won’t like me or what I have to say”, this is your specific fear problem.
- Self-Criticism: If you’re hearing “I’m not good enough”or “I can’t do this”, the criticism springs from within.
- Perfectionism: One of my early fears was that I wouldn’t give a speech the way I had perfectly laid it out in my mind and on paper, and that if I didn’t, I wasn’t doing it right, and if I wasn’t doing it right, I shouldn’t be doing it.
All of these fears can be crippling to your performance. How do you overcome them after you accept that you have them? For some people, writing about them forces them out into the open and makes you recognize how ridiculous they can be. Writing out these fears can help stop the echo chamber effect that can develop when they’re stuck in your head. Other people must spend time cultivating attitudes, mental habits, and relationships that help develop a more positive mindset. For example, instead of thinking “I can’t do this!” and throwing up your arms, think “It’s true this will be hard. I need a plan. Here is how I can break this down to make it manageable.” Instead of thinking “I’m not good enough!” and quitting before you even start, think “I need more work in this area, and there’s nothing wrong with that. I will get better.” This takes time and work, but the payoff is tremendous.
Alright, alright, I know, you want tips and secrets that you can apply right here and right now. Here’s a couple to get you started.
- Before a speech, get to know your surroundings. Stand at the lectern or podium. Imagine the audience all present and attentive. Go through your introduction if nothing else.
- Pump yourself up! Sure, some people think the way to confidence is a blustery attitude, but what I’m speaking of here is different. Having a hard workout a couple hours before a speech will wear down your adrenaline stores and reduce if not eliminate nervousness.
- Master your intro and conclusion. If you don’t have time to do much else, get these right. Your main points are important, but they can usually be put into notes. Because your opening and closing are some of the most potent times of your speech, you should strive to have your head held high.
Next time you’re called to give a speech, don’t be afraid to step into the car, and enjoy the roller coaster ride from the tension building climb to the thrill of the loops and banks of delivery, and finally, coming back to the station, exhilarated and ready for the next ride. It’s normal to have a little bit of performance anxiety; this means you want to do a good job. Remember what Mark Twain said: “Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.”
